Random English Major Thoughts

Chapter 2 (part 1): “In Which Much is Discussed”

The next day, Ayesha left her apartment and found Loki waiting for her. He smiled a brilliant smile and held out a cup from the cafe. “Milk tea, with espresso.”

“What’d you do, snoop through my trash?”

“No, I just told Sleeping Beauty that I was picking up your usual order for you. Your breakfast is in this sack with mine. I expect the sheriff’s office to reimburse me.”

“Fill out a form when we get to the office. You just cut thirty minutes out of my day.”

“Thirty useful minutes that can be used for walking in the park with me.”

“No.” Ayesha took a sip of her tea. “Loki, you keep trying to flirt with me, and I’m not biting. If helping me is just a way to get close to me, then buzz off.”

“So harsh,” Loki laughed. “Was I that obvious?”

“Yes. I appreciate your efforts to help, but your motive is all wrong and just annoying. So give me my food and go bother someone else.”

She started to reach for the sack, but he moved it out of her reach. “Just hold on, Sheriff. Getting closer to you was my original goal, I’ll admit that. But quite frankly, this murder has baffled and intrigued me. I’ll hang around and see it to completion, then I’ll hang up my sleuthing cap and leave you alone. It’ll work out for the both of us, right?”

Ayesha scowled, but had to admit that she was in need of someone, regardless of their goal. “Fine. Just remember, Haggard wrote me as someone pining after lost love. It’ll never work between me and anyone else. So if you try your infamous trickery on me, you’ll be the next body in town. Got it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” Loki answered, handing her the bag of food. “What say we go to the office and look over things before you officially open?”

“Or you could just let me sit for a few minutes and enjoy a meal sitting down for once.”

“Or that.”

To his credit, Loki did eat his muffins in silence, letting Ayesha eat her food with more pleasure than she had in quite a while. She licked chocolate off her finger, and downed the last of her tea. She let out a sigh and ran her tongue around her teeth to gather any crumbs.

“Better?” Loki asked.

“Yeah. Thanks.” She stood up.

“Wait a moment. Just let… let me savor this beautiful moment. Ayesha, the infamous She, has actually thanked me, Loki, for something.”

“Would you rather I shot you? Cuz I can do that. I just have to fill out paperwork.” Ayesha pushed her trash into a nearby dumpster, glad she didn’t blush easily. He had a habit of throwing her off balance and embarrassing her. She hadn’t always been so cranky.

“I’ll be fine. Shall we go?”

At the sheriff’s office, Ayesha wasn’t surprised to see Hera, Eir and Ixtlilton out front, waiting for her. She was surprised that there weren’t more townsfolk gathered there.

“Good morning, Sheriff,” Hera said briskly. “Loki.”

“Madam Mayor,” Loki replied, bowing.

“Hera, if you want me to tell you what is going on with the murder, I don’t know much yet.”

“I didn’t expect you to. I simply came to ask what you did know. And also to scare off the gawkers and gossips.” Hera smiled her infamous cold smile. Ayesha suddenly found herself sympathizing with anyone who ran afoul of their mayor.

“Ixtlilton and I came to report on what we found. The body is in Hades’ cold storage,” Eir said.

Once inside, Ayesha pulled some chairs (from where Fenrir had pushed them against the wall) and dragged them into the office. They all sat down, and Loki started a pot of coffee brewing.

“So what is known so far?” Hera asked.

Loki held up his notebook and recited: “Victim is Georgie Porgie, resident of the northern triad section of town. He rented from the Crooked Man, lived in the Crooked House. Was identified by one of the Three Pigs, Elmer, and Mother Goose. He was found yesterday morning around 11, by Toodles of the Lost Boys. He was in the alley between the blacksmith’s and the Happy Time Cafe. That’s mostly it.”

Ixtlilton looked at Eir, who motioned for him to go ahead. “We may not know what exactly killed the victim, but we know that he was in a very serious fight. Several fractures, contusions, and damaged organs indicate that it was mostly one-sided. He did fight back at least a little, as his knuckles were cut and bruised. Most of the bruises show that he was hit with probably fists, but there are also several larger places where he was hit with possibly a rock or something with an uneven surface. My guess is that he was simply beaten to death.”

“I’ve read that phrase, but never understood it fully.” Loki was busy stacking up papers from the deputy’s desk, tossing a few papers into the trash can.

“Basically, he was beaten so badly that he bled to death internally. And please don’t quote that meme about how blood is supposed to be on the inside anyway.” Eir quirked her eyebrow at him.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

“So… it’s conceivable to say that he may have been attacked by someone with a weapon, managed to fight back and disarm his opponent, but his opponent overpowered him and beat him so badly that he died.” Hera tapped her long glossy nails on her armrest.

Ayesha nodded. “Seems like a logical chain of events to me. But whoever did something like that is most likely nursing some of their own bruises, especially on their hands.”

“Something to consider,” Loki spoke up, stopping his cleaning. “He likely died between Sunday night and Monday morning, right?”

“That’s what we’re guessing,” Eir said. “Neither of us are coroners, so we can’t really give a time of death easily.”

“Well, Sunday night was the big brawl at the pub, remember?”

Ayesha groaned as she remembered. “Yeah. And there were a lot of people involved in that. It took a long time to calm it down.”

Hera sighed. “I apologize on behalf of my ex-husband. He probably won’t be apologizing himself anytime soon.”

Ayesha waved her hand. “I’ve come to expect it. If he can actually pay the fine instead of doing community service, I’ll be surprised. Regardless, as many brawlers as there were, a lot of them are probably nursing their own wounds right now. So identifying someone just got harder.”

“Well, do you know of anyone who has a reason to want him dead?” Hera asked.

“That’s what I have on my list to ask people.” Ayesha lifted her notepad off the desk to illustrate. “Also, what kind of a person he was, if he claimed blood kin with anyone else in town, anyone claimed blood kin with him, yadda yadda yadda.”

“I’ll check with my staff and see if anyone has filed complaints against him, see what I can dig up on his history.” Hera stood up. “I think I should get out of your way now, ladies and gentlemen. This town unfortunately won’t run itself.”

“I wish it would,” Ayesha muttered, then spoke clearly, “Thank you for coming, and for helping.”

Manga App Discoveries! Part 2 of 4

Y’all, I don’t know how to do the whole adulting thing. I’m working three part-time jobs, and trying to have a life outside of work. I just don’t know how to do the thing. So it’s been almost a month since my last post.

So, hi. Yeah. Should’ve started with that. Lol.

Second manga app I’m recommending is Manga UP! Each day, you will receive about 160 points (from what I’ve seen), and you can use these points to read four chapters per day. There’s another point system you can use on it, but I think you have to purchase those with actual money. You can either use those points on one series and read four chapters, or you can use them to read from multiple series. Several series have chapters cut in half, so there is that annoying aspect of it.

“From Betrayed Hero to Invincible Demon King” by Sai Sumimori, jimmy and Masayumi is about Galius, who is “ugly” enough for humans to call him an orc. His Item Master skill enable him to defeat the Demon King while hiding his appearance under armor. He is tossed aside by his kingdom so that the handsome prince can pretend to be the Hero, but Galius quickly learns that he was simply used in order to kill the demi-humans, who are actually innocent and kind people. Galius decides to turn his back on the humans and protect the demi-humans who have accepted him, and he becomes the new Demon Lord. I love this story for multiple reasons, but partially just because of Galius’ resolve to do whatever is necessary to protect his loved ones. Unlike a lot of main characters nowadays, he’s not doing cruel things to be cruel or take revenge; he’s doing it because he is taking on the burden of cruelty to protect his new family.

“I Lost My Adventurer’s License, but It’s Fine Because I have an Adorable Daughter Now” by Manimani Ononata, Fumi Tadaura, Itsuki Watanabe, and Fuzichoco. Douglas was kicked out of the hero’s party because he was growing weaker every time he used his magic. When he had given up on life, he freed a young girl from a horrible curse, and found himself adopting Rabi as his daughter. Finding that he himself had been cursed, Douglas and Rabi travel around and learn about the world together and uncover deep-reaching conspiracies.

“By the Grace of the Gods” by Roy, Ranran, and Ririnra is a slice-of-life fantasy about Ryouma, who dies in Japan and is reincarnated into another world with magical abilities and an insatiable curiosity for the new world around him. As the story continues, we see how truly broken down Ryouma had become by an abusive father, horrible work conditions, and an uncaring world, and it’s a beautiful picture of healing as he makes friends and family. One of my favorite slice of life stories.

“The Apothecary Diaries” by Natsu Hyuuga, Nekokurage, and Itsuki Nanao is a mystery series about Maomao, a young woman trained in medicines, who is forced to work for the inner palace as a maid. Even though she doesn’t want to get involved with people around her, she is quickly sucked into court intrigue and attempted assassinations because of her abilities and the nosy eunuch Jinshi who is determined to use her help. I like how Maomao is very cynical and monotone in her life, but instantly becomes alive when medicine or herbs are mentioned. The story is interesting as layers continue to build into a cohesive picture of court life.

There are so, so many stories on this app that I’m looking forward to reading. I could go on forever, but I’m forcing myself to hold back. Hope to be back in a couple weeks with another post. Catch you on the flip side.

Manga App Discoveries! Part 1 of 4

I…have deep dived and downloaded FOUR different manga reading apps on my phone, my dudes. No intro to this post, just stating the facts. Having said that, I must rhapsodize about manga I have found on these apps and try to convince you to read some. (I apologize for any weirdness in my sentence and paragraph structure; I’m on cold meds at the moment.)

The first is Comikey. Annoyingly, they have a tendency to split chapters into multiple sections, so it takes longer to read with short chapters. However, I would recommend these stories on here:

“The Banished Villainess’ Husband” by Kiri Komori is taking the otome villainess reincarnation beyond the engagement breakup event, and the villainess is banished to another country. However, there is another nobleman who, due to circumstances, is “forced” to marry the villainess and accompany her to the other country. However again, since he’s been in love with her for quite a while, he’s happy. It’s a potential lovey-dovey story, with lots of creating new devices based on our world’s items.

“I See You” by Pixel is a Korean manhwa that… Oh my word, the story is so good. The art is beautiful and dorky and funny all at the same time. The premise is that Seowoo is ready to commit suicide, but finds that she can now see Grim Reapers! They make a bet with her: stay alive for 3 months; if at the end of that time, Seowoo still doesn’t want to live, they will take her life and erase her from other people’s memories. It’s a meditation on grief and depression and life. I can’t think of a better way to describe it; you just have to read it for yourself.

“The Strongest Wizard Becomes a Countryside Guard After Taking an Arrow in the Knee” by Ezogingitune is about Alfred, who helped defeat the demon king but was wounded by a cursed arrow, which will continue to give him pain no matter what. Being overwhelmed by requests that he can’t turn down, he escapes to a country town to relax and just guard the town. Of course, life can’t be that easy. There’s a bit of fan service with the female characters, which annoys me, but the story is interesting and kind of fun.

“The Ice Guy and His Cool Female Colleague” by Miyuki Tonogaya is a fun romantic comedy. Himuro is a new company worker in love with his coworker Fuyutsuki, who also has a crush on him, although she may not fully realize her feelings. But as complications are needed, Himuro is a descendent of the Snow Woman from Japanese folklore- whenever he gets excited, snow or ice appear around him, often creating small snowstorms in the workroom. Occasionally he makes small snowmen too. It is a fun story that… it’s just fun to read. Go read it. (Also, Crunchyroll now has an anime adaptation of it! 🙂 )

That’s some recommendations on there. Tune in next time for more rambles and recommendations. Catch you on the flip side.

An Exciting Announcement

Y’all, I’m stepping into the official world of webnovels. Tapas publishes many of my favorite manhwas, and I found out that they also publish novels. Being the overachiever that I am, I decided to officially publish a webnovel on there. “Getting my name out there,” as they say.

This is the official description of it: “Siobhan plays violin on the streets of New Amsterdam, making just enough money to scrape by. Her sister is presumed dead after an explosion in her magic research lab, but Siobhan is convinced she’s alive. With help from unexpected allies, she will dive into conspiracies, legends, and her own unstable magic.”

Hope you like it!

https://tapas.io/series/The-Price-of-Magic

The Otome Heroine and Villainess Become Best Friends!? Part 2

Marianne opened the note with trembling hands. She recognized the seal in the dried wax. She read the words written in an elegant hand, and her blood ran cold. What do I do now? How could I have been so stupid? I jeopardized everything with that one stupid sentence, with that stupid reaction. And now I’m probably going to disappear off the face of the earth and no one will ever know what happened to me. Everything she could imagine happening was extremely frightening, and she eventually stopped imagining due to mental exhaustion.

There was a knock on her bedroom door, and her sister poked her head in, holding out a letter. “He sent you another letter. Are you going to answer this one?”

“Ashleigh, please don’t tease me right now,” Marianne moaned. She opened the new letter and her eyes widened. “Oh dear.”

“What is it?” Ashleigh asked, coming in the rest of the way. She closed the door behind her and perched on the edge of Marianne’s desk. “Are you two going to plan to take down the villainess at the school dance?”

“Why would you even joke about that? Not only is something like that cliched, but it’s also so stupid!” She sighed. “I’m sorry. No, he’s letting me know that he’s also been invited to meet with Lady Silverthorn.”

“Also?” Ashleigh gawked, then covered her mouth. “Oh dear indeed.”

Thomas got out of his carriage in front of the tailor’s and went in, striving to appear normal and nonchalant. Jonathan followed him at a respectful distance. Dominic, the head tailor, came to greet him personally, and escort him to the second floor, where a large room had been filled with suits and accessories. Trying them all on would require at least three hours. Dominic motioned for Thomas to follow him to a window that opened onto a very small balcony. Across from the balcony, separated by merely three feet, was a similar balcony that was on the back of Madame Tulla’s Boutique.

“Good day, Your Grace,” the man standing on the opposite balcony said quietly. His black hair and dark features helped him blend into the shadows in the narrow alleyway.

“Luther.” Thomas sighed inwardly and climbed onto the railing and jumped over to the other balcony. Once there, he turned to Jonathan, still standing by the open window with Dominic. “Jonathan, if any messengers should come, don’t let them in, and come over to get me.”

“Understood, Your Grace.” Jonathan bowed.

“Well, sir,” Dominic said to Jonathan. “Will you join me in a spot of tea? I’ve brought an apple and citrus cake.”

“Thank you, sir.” Jonathan smiled. He and Dominic were old friends. While he felt for his master’s predicament, it wasn’t often the two of them could sit down and chat leisurely. He would enjoy this time.

Once inside the room, Thomas swallowed hard. His fiancee, Anastasia Silverthorn, sat at a small table, calmly sipping tea. The table was filled with various treats, a tempting sight to anyone looking in. For Thomas, it just made his stomach twist.

“How are you, Lord Friedrichson?” Anastasia asked. The light reflected off of her glasses.

“I am well. And you, Lady Silverthorn?” Thomas could play the polite game well.

“I have been better. Please take a seat. Miss Ludwig should be here shortly. She is entering the back of the store with Genevieve’s help.”

That would explain why Genevieve, Anastasia’s personal maid/bodyguard, was nowhere in sight. Instead, Luther and his twin brother, Klaus, stood against the wall. They looked out of place in the tea room filled with clothing and accessories. It looked like Anastasia had set up the illusion that she was here to buy clothing from the boutique, like she had set up for Thomas. She was good.

The door opened, and Marianne entered, followed by Genevieve. Thomas’ heart flip-flopped at seeing the girl he loved, the sunlight shining off of her auburn hair. He saw the nervousness in her brown eyes as she looked at Anastasia and then at him.

“Miss Ludwig, please join us. No need for formalities.” Anastasia motioned to the third chair. It was positioned so that all three of them would be able to see each other clearly, the light illuminating each person, rather than leaving one person in shadow or blinding someone.

Marianne gave a brief curtsy to be polite, then scurried to her seat.

“Would either of you care for tea?” Anastasia asked. “Or would you prefer a different drink? Miss Ludwig, you like the egg custard tarts, correct? Please have one. Lord Friedrichson, I also asked for the raspberry scones you like. Please, both of you, have something.”

Thomas interrupted her. “I am very sorry, but I cannot eat when I am on the edge of my seat like this.”

“I see.” Anastasia looked down briefly. “My apologies. When I am stressed, I tend to eat sweets, so I forgot that others are not like that. Klaus.”

Klaus stepped forward and set a book down on the table. Thomas went paler, and Marianne winced. The cover of the novel was garish: an auburn haired girl surrounded by beautiful men, while a blonde girl in the background looked on with disdain. The gold embossed title read “To Know You is to Love You: or, The Lily Princess Must Choose One!”

“Lady Silverthorn, I can explain-“

Anastasia raised her hand and cut off Marianne’s words. “There is no need for an explanation. For better or for worse, news of your relationship leaked out, and we are all caught in the aftermath. I have asked you here to suggest a way to deal with it. I asked for secrecy so as to avoid more unsavory rumors.”

“Lady Silverthorn, you can do what you like to me, but I beg you to not retaliate against Marianne!” Thomas burst out. “None of this is her fault. It is mine and mine alone.”

“No, that’s not true!” Marianne cried. “I made a mistake and started everything.”

“Would both of you be quiet and listen to me?” Anastasia asked abruptly, clattering her teacup down against the saucer. The other two became silent. Anastasia sighed and pulled off her glasses, setting them down on the table. Without her glasses, she looked softer.

“Miss Ludwig, Lord Friedrichson, I am not attempting to blame or retaliate against anyone here. I understand that Miss Ludwig would be wary, as she barely knows me, apart from rumors. But Lord Friedrichson, I had hoped you would think a little better of me, since you have known me since childhood. I may be calculating, but I am not cruel or a villainess, despite how this author has painted me.”

Marianne shivered slightly. Even though these words were said in an even tone, she could see genuine sorrow in Anastasia’s eyes. She glanced over at Thomas, to see him staring at Anastasia in surprise.

“I want to ask a simple question. Do you, Thomas, wish to annul our engagement and take Miss Ludwig as your fiancee? Please do us all the honor of speaking honestly.”

Thomas gritted his teeth and nodded.

“And do you, Marianne, wish to become Lord Friedrichson’s fiancee?”

Marianne nodded, clenching her hands.

“Thank you for being honest about this, since this will make our discussion easier. The first order of business is annulling our current engagement. The second is putting pieces in place for your new engagement. I have ideas, but I would like to know if you have any?”

“Huh?” Thomas stared at her in shock. “Wait, you’re okay with this? What?”

Anastasia calmly picked up a cherry tart and moved it to her plate. “I see no reason why I should oppose it. We were engaged as children without our input. Why can we not do something about it now?”

Marianne sank back in her chair and felt like bursting into tears. Things were going to be okay. Anastasia looked at her, and used tongs to place an egg custard tart and a bunch of fresh grapes on Marianne’s plate.

“Genevieve, will you please make another pot of tea? This one has gone cold.”

As Genevieve moved in to remove the tea pot, Anastasia put a raspberry scone and cherries on Thomas’ plate. She then picked up her fork and knife and started cutting her tart apart. “From what I see, Lord Friedrichson, breaking the engagement from your side will be fairly straightforward. There is a current trend in high society of building relationships with the so-called ‘common folk’. It has to do with our new king trying to build a more connected society, rather than one divided by class. Therefore, I believe that we can build a compelling case on your side for the engagement to Miss Ludwig. It may be more complicated on my side, but I have a plan to take care of it.”

“How will you do this?” Marianne asked. She ate a grape, feeling more at ease.

“It has mostly to do with my own actions, so no worry for you. Lord Friedrichson, your task will be to approach your father and lay out the following points: you have fallen in love with a classmate and wish to marry her after graduation. As this is the planned time for your and my wedding, not much will change there. As long as you can persuade your father, it is easy. Since your family is higher-ranking than mine, it would be churlish of my older brother to refuse this annulment without paying legal damages.”

Seeing a look of confusion on Marianne’s face, Thomas told her, “Lord Silverthorn passed away seven years ago, and his son Dmitri became the head of the family.”

“I see. Thank you for explaining. And my condolences for your loss, Lady Silverthorn.”

“Thank you. Your concern is appreciated. Miss Ludwig, I believe the best course of action for you would be to continue in your daily life as much as possible. The otome novels are read more by commoners than nobility, and it’s very possible that you will be under scrutiny from those who suspect the truth. I urge you to act like you are ignorant of the novel, and if anyone tries to engage you in conversation about it, ask them about the novel and get them talking. If you can deflect suspicion away from you and onto the absurdities of the novel itself, all the better.”

“Understood. However, my little sister has told me that many of her schoolmates suspect the truth. How should I act if they try to worm it out of my sister?”

“Can she be trusted?”

Marianne considered it. “For a while, yes. I think she’ll eventually get tired of the secrecy and want to become popular.”

“In that case, urge her to keep it secret as long as possible. You know your sister best. When you think she is getting close to telling, explain to her what we are trying to do. That will give her another layer of secrecy to be excited about. That should buy us enough time to finish everything.”

Marianne nodded, and started eating her custard tart with relish. Thomas sipped his tea and asked, “My father should return from his trip tonight. He usually makes sure to have dinner as a family the following evening. I believe I can talk to him after that.”

“Make sure he is in a genial mood.” Anastasia refilled the tea cups. “Extol her accomplishments rather than her beauty. She has been in the top ten students in the academy since enrolling two years ago, on a scholarship from the Imperial Library. Her family is a well-respected and liked merchant family in the city, with plans to expand to the nearby cities in the next five years. Things like that.”

Thomas smiled for the first time in days. “You really do pay attention to everything.”

Anastasia smiled softly. “I have to.” She put her glasses back on. Marianne surveyed her, and found that the glasses did sharpen her face. But when it was known that Lady Silverthorn was not a mean person, the glasses actually added to her air of dignity, rather than an air of menace.

They enjoyed the treats for a while, then Klaus came forward to mention that it had been almost two hours. Thomas excused himself, bowed to Anastasia, kissed Marianne’s hand, and left the same way he had come.

“Miss Ludwig,” Anastasia said. “I have arranged for this clothing to be here for the purpose of selecting an outfit for you to wear when meeting Lord Friedrichson’s family. It is imperative to make a good first impression. His father is a good man, but his mother is somewhat strict. Once you know her, she will be charming and kind-hearted, but you must make the effort to engage with her.”

“Lady Silverthorn, I apologize. I know you’ve gone to a great deal of trouble, but I haven’t got the money. This is a high-end boutique. And I can’t ask my family to spend this much.” Marianne was embarrassed.

“There is no need for that. I am paying for this. Consider it an engagement gift.” Anastasia stood up before Marianne could protest. “I believe this blue and brown linen gown would suit you well. The likelihood of you being invited in the evening or to a full meal is rather unlikely. For the first meeting, Lady Friedrichson would likely invite you to a tea party, and Lord Friedrichson would stop by briefly on some pretext.”

“How do you know these things?” Marianne asked in awe. She had decided to accept Lady Silverthorn’s generosity, to a point.

“As I said earlier, I have to notice everything. Will you try on the dress?”

A folding screen was brought forward, and Klaus and Luther left the room. Genevieve helped Marianne with her clothing while Anastasia prowled around the tables full of accessories.

“Bear in mind, Miss Ludwig, that for a lady, appearance is her first weapon. Lady Friedrichson prefers simple styles during the day, and more ornate styles in the evening. I would suggest wearing your hair in a braid, and perhaps wearing a blue ribbon with it. For a tea party, simple earrings would be acceptable. With the weather, it would likely be held outside, so a hat is necessary.”

Marianne surveyed herself in a full-length mirror. The dress was a bold blue, with soft brown embroidery on the bodice, short sleeves and full skirt. She stepped out to see what Lady Silverthorn thought.

Anastasia walked all the way around her, her lips pursed. She finally stopped in front of Marianne and gestured to the skirt. “It should be shortened about one inch to be more appropriate for daytime use. I will notify the tailor. Does it fit well otherwise?”

“Yes, it’s beautiful. I’ve never had a dress like this.”

A soft smile appeared on Anastasia’s face. “I am glad. Materials like linen are becoming more popular as summer approaches. While some nobles look down on it, I believe it done in this style will help impress the idea that you are a practical, respectable young woman, worthy of marrying the Archduke’s son.”

“Thank you,” Marianne whispered. She looked down. “I can’t thank you enough for this, Lady Silverthorn. I never imagined that you would like this.”

Anastasia shrugged in a very ladylike way. “I am calculating, to be sure. I weigh the cost of every action and reaction. I know that breaking this engagement will benefit us all in the long run. Therefore, it benefits me to also assist as much as possible. Lord Friedrichson and I have never been more than friends, so I have no emotional attachment to tie him to me. Unlike the otome villainess.”

Marianne winced even as she laughed. “I don’t know if any of us will ever live that down. Thankfully, I’ve never been a fan of that type of novels.”

“Nor I. I fail to see the appeal in multiple men trying to seduce you.”

They shared a smile. Anastasia then helped Marianne pick out a pair of dressy yet sensible flats, a pair of gold and sapphire earrings, and a wide-brimmed hat. Marianne tried to argue with Anastasia about paying for everything, but Anastasia refused to listen. She arranged for the dress to be altered, blue and brown ribbons to be added to the hat, and for everything to be delivered to the Ludwig family house.

“Do you wish for me to visit your family and explain everything to them?” Anastasia asked at some point. “Your parents may catch wind of some rumors from customers. I would not wish them to feel this was done behind their backs.”

“Perhaps?” Marianne said. “I feel it would be better to wait until Thomas talks with his father and gets permission.”

“I understand.”

When they were done, Genevieve escorted Marianne out the back door. She last saw Lady Silverthorn curtsying to her as she left.

To be continued…

Lost in Mythology, Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE:

In Which the Sheriff is Having a Bad Day

Ayesha opened the door to the coffee shop, inhaling the smells of coffee and baked goods. Snow White waved cheerfully from the bakery area, and motioned to behind the counter, where she had put Ayesha’s usual order. Ayesha nodded her thanks, and queued up for the coffee, idly noting who was in front of her: two of the dwarfs (all seven were identical to her), Pecos Bill and Captain Nemo.

“Sheriff!” Rumplestiltskin caught her attention. He wasn’t as short as fable had it, just about 5 feet. “Can you please-“

Ayesha held up her hand. “Sir, perhaps you forgot during your time travelling, but when I took this post, I insisted that there would be no official business between 2 a.m. and 8 a.m., giving me a chance to sleep and have breakfast.”

“I know, but-“

“It is only 7:43.”

“Please! I don’t have a chance to talk to you later.”

The line moved forward. The dwarfs in front of Ayesha turned to see Rumplestiltskin. “Now what’s your problem?” one of them asked. “The kids next door ruining your lawn again?”

“No, actually, although I’m rather surprised. Baba Yaga moved in on the other side of my house. Sheriff, she’s putting skulls on the fence, which she has sharpened into stakes. Her chickens are everywhere and keep leaving their excrement in my yard.”

“Then move,” Ayesha said curtly. Captain Nemo nodded at her on his way out the door, carrying two holders full of various drinks for his crew.

“I moved there specifically because it was a quiet neighborhood, and I didn’t have to worry about interruptions in my spinning. Then the Old Woman moved in, altered her house to look more like a shoe, and her kids run rampant. Now this!”

Ayesha sighed, torn between desires. “Look, I can talk with her. As long as the skulls are not fresh, there’s not a whole lot I can do. Maybe you should go look out in the wooded areas for a home.”

“Are you insane? There’s as many people there as there are in town.”

“Yes, Rumplestiltskin, I am insane. Okay? Does that make you feel better? I’ve told you what I can do, and given you time outside my boundaries. You can file a suit or move. Or get used to your neighbors. All right? Now give me the last ten minutes before more insanity sets in.”

Rumplestiltskin looked as though he wanted to argue, but compressed his lips and then stalked back to his table in high dudgeon. Pecos Bill moseyed past them with his super-sized frappe, and the two dwarfs looked at each other then nodded. They stepped aside and motioned for Ayesha to come to the counter.

“We got more time than you,” one said.

“Thank you,” Ayesha answered, too worn out already to bother arguing. “Rose, make my milk tea large, with an extra shot of espresso.”

Sleeping Beauty nodded, and immediately began making it. Ayesha pulled coins out of her pocket and slid them across the counter to pay for her drinks and her food. Souped-up drink and food in hand, she left the shop in a worse mood than she had entered.

The sheriff’s station was three blocks away. She scarfed down her egg sandwich and half of her tea before she got there. As she started on her chocolate and blueberry scone, she saw a small group of people gathered near the door. Not a mob, at least, although she’d have to deal with that later. She inwardly groaned and pulled out her keys.

“Sheriff,” Hermes said, tipping his baseball cap towards her.

“Two minutes, then you can come in as you have complaints. You all crowd in at once, and you’re paying fines for disturbing the peace.”

She twisted the key in the lock, and pushed her way inside. Her tea went on her desk, her jacket on the back of her chair. She scowled at the blinking light on the answering machine. Perhaps if she had a few minutes later today, she could go through the messages from the previous week. She pulled out a notebook and pen, slapped them on the desk and swallowed the last of her scone. Flipping the lights on and opening the blinds, she sank into her chair and let out a deep breath.

Hermes was the first in. He simply had to report someone slashing the tires on his bike the previous night. “I mean, I’m technically not a bike messenger, but it really does help with the town getting so big these days.” Marked down to check into, but low in priority.

Pan came in with his usual scowl, and slapped his pipes down on her desk, probably fracturing a couple reeds. “Sheriff, if that chupacabra keeps coming after my goats, I swear I’ll-“

“Have you considered not raising goats?” she asked, rubbing her forehead.

He stared at her as if she had taken leave of her last sense. “In this economy? No one buys wool anymore around here! The goat milk I can at least sell in the farmer’s market the next town over.”

“He’s a chupacabra. It’s in his nature to feed on goats. I don’t have a way to stop him. If all else fails, go ask Hades to borrow Cerberus for a watchdog or something like that.”

“That mangy mutt won’t do anything. He’s afraid of his own shadow! If you won’t take care of this, I will.” Pan snatched up his pipes and left in a huff, his hooves clacking on the dirty linoleum.

The next two people were simply seeking mediation for a boundary dispute. After them, Diana came in, bow slung over her shoulder.

“I received your message, Sheriff. How can I help you?”

Ayesha took a sip of tea, then pulled over a thick folder of complaints and reports. “Diana, with as many shapeshifters as we have around here, what in the world led you to believe that a moonlight hunt would be a good idea?”

Diana looked puzzled. “I am the goddess of both the hunt and the moon. Why couldn’t I do it?”

“Well, let’s see. So far you have disturbing the peace, unlawful possession of firearms, unlawful discharge of said firearms, attempted slaughter of about 6 different creatures, and some people are trying to upgrade your hunt promotion to inciting a riot.”

“That is absurd!”

“I agree. Inciting a mob would be more accurate.”

“What?” Diana stared in astonishment. “It was merely a hunt.”

“Diana, you got several people drunk, gave them weapons, and turned them loose in a forest filled with people. If it hadn’t been for Robin Hood’s band, you would have at least 6 murders laid on your doorstep. I don’t care if you want to hunt, but there are regulations set up to prevent such things from happening. You deliberately ignored said regulations in order to have some ‘fun.’ Since I can’t charge you with murder, ‘inciting a mob’ is a good alternative.”

“Sheriff, I think this is being blown far out of proportion. Yes, the people got a little sozzled, but no one was really hurt.”

“The Three Bears’ house was smashed apart and both the mother bear and their baby have concussions. Louhi and your friend Cernunnos got into a fight and almost killed each other; they’re currently in the hospital. Nujalik almost sliced the heads off of a kitsune and a kumiho-“

“Okay, so no one actually died,” Diana amended. “Doesn’t that count as something?”

“You’re ordered to not drink or hunt for a week, and report to court on Monday. Hope you get a nice judge. Good day.”

Diana sighed and left. It had taken a while for everyone to acknowledge the authority that Ayesha had as sheriff, but they at least went along with it.

The Morrigan came in next, paying the last of her parking tickets off. Ayesha put the coins into the office cashbox and signed the paperwork to show it had been paid. The Morrigan thanked her, and slid the receipts into her purse, sucking on her toothless gums. “By the way, Sheriff, I thought you should know. I heard a cù-sìth last night, about 4 a.m.”

“A what?”

“A cù-sìth. Irish hound. If he howls three times, there’s bound to be danger. I just hope everyone reached shelter before his third howl.”

“Thanks for the note,” Ayesha said, marking it down. Likely nothing. Probably just someone else causing trouble.

The next person also came to see her about a dog, albeit in a different form.

“Loki, if I have to tell you again to stop bringing Fenrir to the dog park during crowded hours, I’m going to revoke your peddler’s license.”

“Sheriff, giant dogs need their exercise as much as anyone else. That sounds like stereotyping to me.”

“That sounds like no less than 11 times I’ve been called out to break up a fight between your dog and someone else’s. I know you’re supposed to be a god of mischief, but deliberately picking a fight with the other townsfolk is nothing other than stupid.”

“Perhaps just boredom?” he suggested, a slight smirk on his face.

“Then go to Washington and stir up some trouble there.”

“Too easy. Everyone’s so far apart they can’t even throw effective stones at each other anymore.”

“Go to Canada then.”

“They’re too nice.”

“Now who’s stereotyping?” She sighed. “Loki, I know you’re bored. But please consider the fact that I’m already swamped, and my assistant took off.”

“Again?” He hmphed. “What if I volunteer to be your assistant? You don’t even have to pay me.”

“Ha ha. You would be the laughingstock of the community, and people wouldn’t trust me anymore.”

“Oh, come on, Sheriff. I’m so bored around here that I’m using my son as an excuse for picking fights? Doesn’t that say anything to you? All of the Norse gods have forbidden me from leaving town for another 3 months. They want to get their vacations in without me fouling it up. How rude, right?”

She was saved from having to respond by the phone ringing. Before she could answer, Loki shot his hand out and snatched up the receiver, saying pleasantly, “Sheriff’s office. How can I help you?”

She leaned back in her chair and downed the last of her milk tea, mentally preparing herself for another complaint. Loki’s face turned serious, odd enough that she reached for her keys.

“I see. We’ll be right there.” Loki hung up, then crossed his arms. He turned to her, and said carefully, “Someone has been murdered.”

She closed her eyes briefly, then stood up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The crime scene was in the town square, in the alley between the cafe and the blacksmith. A young, formerly handsome man was lying at an odd angle between cardboard boxes, multiple broken bones and abrasions obvious.

“Who’s this?” Loki asked.

“Loki, I don’t know everyone in town, yeah? If you’re going to insist on tagging along, make yourself useful and start asking that crowd of spectators if they know him.” She started rolling out a caution tape across the alley.

“Sheriff!” Hades came up, his wife Persephone tagging along. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“While we’ll need an undertaker eventually, right now I need a coroner. No offense.”

“Well, that’s just the problem. We don’t really have a coroner in town.”

She stopped and stared at him. “Seriously?”

Hades shrugged, while Loki tried to unsuccessfully flirt with Persephone. “We rarely have anyone die around here. The last time I can remember was during the 60s, when we had those Russian spies try to come in, and stumbled across a bacchanal that turned bloody. Work is slow for me, if no one else.”

She sighed. “Do we have anyone here in town who can examine a dead body and tell me what exactly killed him?”

“We have plenty of people with experience in medicine, and plenty with experience with dead bodies.” Persephone shooed Loki away towards the crowd. “But I’m not sure if they would be very helpful.”

Ayesha looked down at the dead man. “You want to help, Hades? Find me someone who can do an autopsy or something like. I was put in charge of this town, as much as I dislike it today, and I refuse to let someone get away with murder.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

By the time everything was logged and taken care of properly, Persephone had tracked down Eir, a lesser known Norse goddess associated with healing and medicine. She was one of the few Norse gods in town currently, as the rest had gone to Norway. After she entered the sheriff’s office, Ixtlilton, an Aztec god also known for medicine and healing, came in and offered his services as well.

Eir said, viewing the corpse with curiosity, “I was hoping to relax for a while, without Odin and Zeus having throw-downs. You just made things more interesting, Sheriff.”

“Can you try, please?” Ayesha rubbed her forehead again, feeling like eventually her skin would be rubbed off and everyone could see her exhausted brain. “I just need to know what exactly killed him, if it was the injuries or something else.”

“Well… we can try.” Eir glanced at Ixtlilton, who nodded behind his obsidian mask. “I think I speak for both of us when I say we’re used to working on living people.”

“Just do your best. I’ve got Loki out figuring out who he is, since he’s so bored.”

“Sure it’s a good idea to have him helping?” Eir asked cautiously.

“Probably not. But it’s not like I have people clamoring around to help me with this job that they threw at me. If nothing else, he can answer the phone and field calls. If he causes mischief and the townspeople kill each other, one less hassle for me.”

Both Eir and Ixtlilton looked at her with alarm. Ayesha forced herself to smile. “Sorry. Really tired and frustrated today. Just do what you can, please.”

Ayesha got back to the sheriff’s office to find Fenrir crushing the lobby furniture against the walls, curled up and taking a nap. She scowled at him, then walked around him into her office, where Loki was scribbling notes in a ledger.

“You realize you haven’t checked the messages in over a week?” he asked, not even looking up.

“Get out of my chair.”

“Can’t write standing. One sec.” He pointed over his shoulder to the microwave in the corner. “Your lunch is in there.”

“I didn’t get lunch.”

“I know. No wonder you’re always grumpy and tired. You keep skipping meals. Hope you like tomato basil soup.”

“I don’t.”

“Good. I ate it. There’s chicken noodle soup and a grilled cheese with turkey.”

“I hate you.”

“I know.” He stood up and walked around the desk, ledger in hand. “The wolves are complaining about the noise levels of the forest humans, last Friday. Saturday, you’ve got three boundary disputes, a so-called changeling, and the Unseelie Court session got out of hand. Sunday, there’s less: Zao Jun complaining about Apollo double-parking his chariot in front of the restaurant, again; and a fight had to be broken up between Zeus and a few others in Bacchus’.”

“Already took care of that one.” Ayesha swallowed some painkillers and gulped down half a bottle of water. “I was outside when it happened.”

Loki opened the microwave, removed the bag of food, and plunked it down in front of Ayesha. “Eat, or you’ll be sick.”

Ayesha scowled again. “How do I know you didn’t do something to the food?”

“Because I’m not bored currently. Monday, you’ve got basically more of the same. I’ll give you the details after you’ve eaten.”

“Now you’re resorting to bribery.”

“Whatever it takes,” Loki answered with a brilliant smile.

The soup was actually better than expected, and the grilled cheese, although somewhat cool, still had the satisfying cheese stretch and softness. Ayesha ate half of both, then turned back to Loki.

“Seriously, why are you bothering? Is this some sort of bet?”

Loki laughed. “Oh, that would have been good. Wish I’d thought of that.” He stretched out in a chair by the door. “It’s quite simply because I am extremely bored. There’s so many tricksters in town that I’m basically out of a job. There’s no battles or wars to get engaged in. I’ve read everything in the library. The TV is meaningless. And no one around here will even loan me a boat for fishing. So…” he shrugged. “It’s something new, assisting the law. When I get bored of it, I’ll leave and go do something else. Is that satisfactory?”

“I guess so.” She pointed her spoon at him. “But you obstruct, trick or attack anyone during work hours, you’re in a cell faster than you can blink. Understood?”

“I promise. I’ll do my best, if nothing else.”

The phone rang then, and Loki answered. Ayesha slurped the last of her soup, remembering the news from the last phone call Loki answered. He hung up after a few noncommittal murmurs and a “Thank you very much. Bye now.”

He then turned to her, a smile in his eyes. “That was the Crooked Man. Our murder victim is Georgie Peorgie.”

“Really?”

“Yup. One of the Three Little Pigs got a glance at him when you were hauling him away, and he lives down the street from Crooked Man. Since Georgie rented a room from him, apparently the pig wanted to make sure it was him before telling us.”

“Huh.”

“That’s it? No ‘thank you, Loki, for your help’?”

“Thank you, Loki, for your help.” Ayesha dropped her trash onto an overflowing pile. She sighed and rubbed her eyes.

“I thought you’d be happy we knew who it was.”

“I am. And it also defies my expectations. I thought it would be one of the minor gods, or a literary side character. Someone who would have a reason to be killed. There’s always tons of old hate simmering there. But who would want to kill a nursery rhyme character?”

Isekai-Ish, Episode Zero

Episode Zero:
Luna: Hi, everyone, welcome to Isekai-ish, an actual play DnD podcast. I’m Luna, your Dungeon Master, voice actor, jane of all trades and all-round good gal. I’m here with players watermeloncutgrass…
Watermeloncutgrass: Howdy. I play the character of Chaz Dumbledore, a human wizard.
SuzyQ: Are we allowed to appropriate a character’s name like that?
Watermeloncutgrass: Your character name is literally your own name.
SuzyQ: We’re using our online aliases, so you don’t actually know my name.
Luna: (clears throat) And SuzyQ, who is playing Suzanne Sommers, a human rogue. And BardsAreBest…
BardsAreBest: Heya. My character is Hilary Noi, who is a human bard with a semi-tragic backstory.
Luna: And Dr.Dooflovesmusicals…
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: I play Elegas, Necromancer of the Western Keep. Or as his parents call him, Allen. He’s a druid with a chuunibyou complex.
BardsAreBest: (laughing) Wait, a what?
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: A druid with a chuunibyou complex. It refers to the middle schoolers who have fantastical ideas and/or delusions about themselves, thinking that they’re secretly people who have hidden powers or are reincarnations of famous people or what-have-you. It’s a trope in a lot of anime now.
Luna: Should be fun. And Mos Eisley…
Mos Eisley: I will be playing Myles McCoy, a former otaku, now stuck as a barbarian.
Luna: And last but not least, IsekaidOnline.
IsekaidOnline: I play Big Tom, a juvenile delinquent cleric.
(Group laughs)
Luna: Sounds like a fun group altogether. To let any listeners know, we are all relatively new to DnD. I’ve DMed a bit, but never with a group this big, and I think all of you have only played a couple campaigns, yeah?
(Noises of affirmation)
Luna: So there will be lots of looking up rules and stuff. Please bear with us. Also, as a reminder to our players and a note to our listeners, our mutual friend who introduced us to each other, and probably our only listener ever, asked us to keep the language and sequences PG, since she has two young kids who will also be listening. So keep that in mind, y’all.
Watermeloncutgrass: I shall strive for perfection.
Luna: I mean, I can do some bleeping and stuff, but make my job a little easier, okay? It’s gonna be hard enough to wrangle you as a DM without more work as audio editing.
IsekaidOnline: Suuurely DnD players would never cause trouble for the DM.
Luna: (laugh) Right, right. It’s not like the 50 different tabletop RPG podcasts you listen to has anything different. Okay, so anyway. I would like to go ahead and get started, if that’s okay with everyone?
Mos Eisley: I actually have a quick question before starting. Are we going to start with the actual event of our characters being isekai-ed, or do a later flashback type thing?
Luna: I mean, I had planned on the actual event. Unless you just want to skip that part for now?
(Overlapping voices that trend to the skipping the entrance part)
Luna: Okay, I guess we’ll do that. Gimme a second. Okay. Um, so six travelers walk into a bar.
Mos Eisley: (laugh) Is this the beginning of a joke?
Watermeloncutgrass: Is a bar rated PG or PG-13?
Luna: Okay, fine, it’s an inn. It’s got a restaurant tavern type area attached to it. It’s kind of medieval times-inspired. You’ve got a little stage area at one end, where someone could sing and entertain the patrons. Which the restaurant also has. A bunch of them. They’re all eating food. And at the opposite end, close to the door where you walked in, is a little bar area where you can order drinks. Like… soda pop and milkshakes.
Mos Eisley: You call it soda pop?
Luna: Yes. Anyway, the bartender looks over at all of you as you enter the room. Tell me, who is in the front of the group?
BardsAreBest: Definitely not Hilary. She hates being in front of people.
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: Allen is first in line, I think. He’s kind of the swagger-y type who pushes himself forward in situations. He’s kind of delusional, almost? But like, in a good way. I’m picturing dyed blue hair, eyepatch, bandages wrapped around his arms and hands, maybe an embroidered jacket with like dragons and stuff on it.
Luna: (laughing) I love this character already. Please tell me he’s a delusional cinnamon roll.
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: Yeah, sure.
Watermeloncutgrass: Can Chaz be next? I want you to picture a jock type, like… oh gosh, I can’t think of anyone other than Fred in Scooby-Doo.
(Group laughter)
Watermeloncutgrass: Yeah, my brain went blank, but I’ll go with it. Big guy, played football, all-American type. He’s a wizard, so he’s got a wand, probably.
Luna: A cheerleader’s baton, from his cheerleader girlfriend.
(Group laughter)
Watermeloncutgrass: It’s a good idea, but I don’t think so. I’ll think about it and get back to you. I really did think about having him in his football uniform, but I think instead he’s in sweats and a hoodie, like he just finished a run. Seems more comfortable.
SuzyQ: Can Suzanne be next? So she was one of the popular girls in their high school. So kind of like the blonde chick in Mean Girls, but much nicer.
Luna: I’ve never watched that movie. I don’t think I missed much.
Watermeloncutgrass: As the only guy in an all-female household, I had to watch it. It’s okay, just not my cup of tea.
SuzyQ: That’s fair. My family loves Die Hard, and I don’t. Personal preference. Anyhow, I’m thinking blonde hair, blue eyes, attractive, knows how to make a fashion statement. But since she’s a Rogue now, she’s actually enjoying having stealth and being able to hide better, so she’s dressed in the most inconspicuous outfit she could find, and covers her hair with a handkerchief. But she still does all the hair and skincare routines when she can, cause she likes it.
Luna: Okay. Does she try to sneak publicly? For example, trying to stay in the shadows or steal stuff, or stuff like that?
SuzyQ: Nah. She just enjoys not being the immediate center of attention like in school.
Mos Eisley: Is she enjoying being away from her entourage? Or does she have one?
SuzyQ: I guess. She’s not like the queen bee, but is in the clique because they kinda… pulled her in? She figured there were worse ways to spend her high school days.
Luna: I really want to explore this later, but for now, let’s put a pin in it. After Suzanne, we have…
IsekaidOnline: Big Tom is definitely at the back of the group. He’s used to hanging back and assessing things, in case a rival gang has it out for him. I can go ahead and introduce him if you want? Okay. He’s built like Danielle Hunter.
(A collective silence and “Who?”)
IsekaidOnline: Never mind, I forgot that I’m the only sports fan in this group. He’s a really jacked football player. You can look him up later. Big Tom’s not black, though, he’s Hispanic. I’m thinking his parents were from Belize, like mine. He joined a gang when he was in middle school and kept getting in trouble. Maybe he’s got a couple tattoos? Definitely piercings. He has a baseball bat strapped on his back.
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: And yet he’s a cleric. The irony is terrific.
IsekaidOnline: Absolutely. Luna told us to think of characters that would be opposite of the job class, and I figured an assassin wouldn’t be in high school.
Luna: (laughing with others) Fair enough. So I’m assuming then that Hilary is behind Suzanne and in front of Big Tom.
BardsAreBest: I guess so? I’ve lost track of where everyone is exactly, cause it doesn’t make sense to me that we’re all standing in single file.
Luna: Well, I didn’t mean you would stay in single file. Just in the way you came into the room. I don’t think an inn would have huge gates where you all can enter at one time.
BardsAreBest: Okay, I guess that makes more sense. Uh, Hilary Noi is the daughter of local politicians/business people, 3rd generation Thai. She was always pushed a bit, like they want her to follow in their footsteps, so they’ve had her take speech and debate, band, that type of thing. But she absolutely hates being in front of a crowd, hates speaking up, so this has almost caused a bit of trauma, so to speak. She’s not dressed in any way that would draw attention to her, so she’s dressed like Suzanne, I guess. All inconspicuous-like.
Mos Eisley: I feel like Myles would be near the back of the group too. He’s an otaku, like all nerdy and carting around an ipad to keep reading his manga all the time. He’s stereotypical, big glasses, pimples, the lot. A great axe is strapped to his back, and he’s in hide armor. So he looks like a cross between the stereotypical nerd and the stereotypical barbarian.
Luna: All right, that is everyone introduced. Now, where were we thirty minutes ago? Oh yeah. The bartender looks over at Allen and asks, “What can I get you?”
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: “I will take in only the food given to the dragons themselves.” And Allen does this ridiculous pose, with a bandaged hand held in front of one eye.
IsekaidOnline: Okay, I have to ask, did you base him on that one guy in Saiki?
Dr.Dooflovesmusicals: Yes, I did. I don’t remember being that overdramatic in middle school/high school, but I was also in theatre, so maybe I had an outlet.
Luna: “I’m sorry, Dragon-born, but we only have milkshakes and soda pop.”
Watermeloncutgrass: “Do you have protein shakes?”
SuzyQ: “And can you make one with soy milk? I am lactose intolerant.”
Luna: “I can go out to the fields and find some soy beans, if you can wait long enough. And I suppose I can throw some of the roast beef into a shake, if you need protein.”
(A collective noise of “eww.”)
Luna: “Well, if you prefer regular food, go sit down at a table, and Tracy will be with you shortly.”
SuzyQ: Tracy? That’s the name of a waitress in a fantasy story?
Luna: The more you question my choices as DM, the longer we take to actually get anywhere. You know that, right?
SuzyQ: I know, but it’s so fun.
Luna: Tracy comes over to the table you guys are supposed to be at and glares at it, because you’re not yet.
BardsAreBest: Hilary quickly sits down, because she hates inconveniencing others.
Luna: Thank you very much. From both Tracy and myself.
SuzyQ: Okay fine, I sit down. Happy?
Luna: I’m getting there. I’m gonna say that you all sit down, to cut out some time from this already long introductory episode. Tracy takes your orders, and we’re not playing that out. She brings you your food and drinks eventually. You eat. You enjoy the music, if you’re musical at all. Eventually, the bartender comes over to you, and asks, “Did you find your meal satisfactory?”
IsekaidOnline: Can I roll a constitution saving throw?
Luna: Oh. My. Gosh. Fine.
(dice roll noise)
IsekaidOnline: I got an 11, plus 2, is 13.
Luna: The meat was delicious. But the grease gives you indigestion for a little bit.
IsekaidOnline: That’s fair. I tell her that.
Luna: She ignores that. She’s used to complaining customers.
Mos Eisley: Wait, if she’s used to it, shouldn’t that mean she should be fixing the menu?
Luna: You have clearly never worked in customer service. People complain about literally everything, and you can’t please everyone. Okay?
Mos Eisley: Hey, I’m only 16. I’ve just mowed lawns, okay.
Luna: Moving on. The bartender asks if you’re adventurers.
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: “Indeed we are, and we take only the most perilous of adventures, to prove our mettle to the world.”
SuzyQ: I cut him off and quickly say, “Within reason. We’re still beginners-”
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: “No, we’re not.”
SuzyQ: “And we’re still getting the hang of combat-”
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: “I was born a fighter!”
SuzyQ: “That’s lovely for you, Allen, but I literally sneak around and burgle.”
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: “And I dash in and wreak havoc!”
Mos Eisley: You’re not the tank! Myles is, you nitwit!
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: Allen is delusional, my dude. He will dash in, because he’s convinced that he should be the tank of the party, not a Druid.
Luna: He is gonna die so quickly.
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: Why do you think I was so adamant that we have a Cleric in the party?
BardsAreBest: I’d like to point out that during this whole exchange, Hilary has been shrinking into the corner to be as invisible as possible.
Luna: And the bartender says, “If you’re interested in an adventure, there’s an old lady in the house on the hill who’s wanting someone to investigate a dungeon.”
Watermeloncutgrass: An old lady in the house on the hill?
Luna: I was not prepared for you all to be here. I thought it would start in the high school, and I had that all prepared. Okay?
Dr.DoofLovesMusicals: Okay, okay, okay, okay. How about this? Now that we’ve finally gotten the characters introduced, why don’t we just pause here? Let’s go and do the whole introductory episode to the whole adventure, and then we can officially start at level one, and work our way back in time to this ghastly mess.
Watermeloncutgrass: Well, it’s not like we could do any worse than we have so far. Lols.
Luna: I have a better idea. Let’s just stop recording here, and never release this episode. We can start again next time and hopefully do a better job. We’ve figured out that we suck at this, so we can always improve, yeah?
(laughter)

To be continued???

“The Otome Heroine and Villainess Become Best Friends!?” Part 1

The daughter of the Duke Grenadine, Francesca Anastasia la Grenadine, was engaged to the son of Archduke Thornwood, Frederich Thomason Thornwood. Anastasia and Frederich had been engaged since they were babies, and had grown up as good friends. However, when they both reached the age of 16, Frederich met the love of his life: Marianne Cognac, the daughter of a local merchant.

Despite the obvious social difference between them, Frederich was drawn to Marianne, and looked for every opportunity to interact with her. However, he had five rivals for her love.

Ashleigh Ludwig read the first paragraphs of the otome novel again, then set it down. The fourteen year-old girl crossed her arms and stared at the book on her desk, frowning. She finally stood up, and took the book to her sister’s room.

“Hey, sis. You got a minute?”

Her sixteen year-old sister Marianne was studying at her desk. “I guess. What’s up?”

“Do me a favor and read the first page here.” Ashleigh handed her the book, and sat down on the edge on Marianne’s bed. She didn’t have to wait long until Marianne looked up at her, her face pale. “Does any of that seem familiar to you?”

Marianne closed the book and looked at the garish cover: an auburn haired girl surrounded by beautiful men, while a blonde girl in the background looked on with disdain. The gold embossed title read “To Know You is to Love You: or, The Lily Princess Must Choose One!” Even with the pretensions to grandeur of the gold embossment, the cover was clearly an inferior leather, flaking already, and the papers were so thin as to be almost transparent, showing how the publishers had scraped the parchment thin to make more pages.

“It’s popular right now with my classmates,” Ashleigh said. “It describes you perfectly, with your auburn hair and sky blue eyes-“

“Just stop!” Marianne exclaimed, her face showing her panic. “What does this say about me? Did I seduce Thomas? Try to steal him away from his fiancee? How did anyone learn about this?”

“The character in the book” Ashleigh emphasized, “had the Archduke’s son fall in love with her after they helped each other at the school festival. Even though there were five other guys in love with her, she chooses him about ¾ of the way into the book. Then they work together to take down the villainess, the fiancee of the Archduke’s son, who has been orchestrating things behind the scenes to bring misery to Marianne. Then they graduate and live happily ever after. I don’t think there’s a girl at my school who hasn’t read it, sis.” Ashleigh patted her older sister’s shoulder. “And a lot of them are eyeing me. A couple have even come up and asked to meet you. They’ve become fans of yours by reading about all the hardships you’ve been through at the Academy.”

“There haven’t really been any hardships!”

“What about the bullying you told us about?”

“That wasn’t Lady Silverthorne! It was a girl from a minor count’s home who was jealous that I kept getting the best grades in our class. I talked with the teacher and it stopped eventually.”

“But it was still bullying, even if it wasn’t as bad as in the book.”

Marianne buried her face in her handkerchief. “My life is over. Our life is over. If any of the nobles learn about this, do you realize how much trouble this will stir up? Especially if any of the Silverthorne family learn about it? They have such a terrifying reputation! We’re all dead.”

“Let’s be real here, okay?” Ashleigh interrupted. “How many nobles will actually read otome novels? They’re fantasies for young single ladies, not high literature like you read at the Academy. I think the chances of them learning about it are pretty low.”

Thomas slammed the novel down on his desk, his face completely red. He had managed to read through half of the novel before giving up, and now, all he could manage to do was read the first page. He felt like burning the book. No, collecting all copies of it and making an enormous bonfire. How dare this author write something like this??

There was a knock on the door. When Thomas snarled, “Come in!”, his manservant Jonathan cautiously came in.

“Your Grace, I’m afraid I have bad news,” Jonathan said. Thomas visibly braced himself. “As you ordered, I went and found the author of this novel. Unfortunately, I arrived moments too late. The author was being taken away in an unmarked carriage. While the men taking the author wore street clothing, one of them wore an earring that… appeared to be a silver rose.”

Thomas let out a groan and slid down to collapse into his chair. “Oh no,” he moaned. “What do I do now?”

The same thoughts were being thought by Adrian Knickerbocker, who wrote under the name Adrienne Kenworthy. To be honest, he could only be considered an author by his one published work, “To Know You is to Love You: or, the Lily Princess Must Choose One!” But this fact seemed irrelevant, as he sat in a chair, rope binding his hands and feet together, sweat pouring down his brow. He was very uncomfortable, despite being in a beautiful and elegant sitting room. Two armed men stood behind him.

Facing him, seated comfortably on a divan, was his kidnapper: Anastasia, the daughter of Duke Silverthorne. Her dark blonde hair was swept away from her face by jeweled hair clips, and her emerald green eyes gazed at him like a carnivore watching its prey. She let out a sigh, and took a sip of tea, handling the cup and saucer with grace and poise.

“So.” She finally spoke, her voice calm. “You are the author of this new otome novel?”

“Y-y-yes…” Adrian managed to squeak out.

“Do you have a death wish?”

“Sorry!?”

“Has no one ever warned you of the danger of basing your characters on real people?” Anastasia set her cup and saucer on the table, and sat back in the divan. She began reciting the facts with impressive speed. “You have taken my name and my fiancee’s name, simply switched our middle and first names, and changed our last names somewhat. For your heroine, you have retained her first name, but changed her last. All of the male love interests are clearly based upon the classmates and close friends of my fiancee. Your publisher has not even put a disclaimer, of this being a work of fiction, in your novel. It would appear that your publisher either wants you dead or simply does not care about the consequences. In either case, she would seem quite untrustworthy.”

“That… I can’t… necessarily deny that.”

“It would also appear that you are unaware of libel laws. That is when you are taken to court for defaming nobles, stripped of all your possessions, sentenced to a heavy fine, and must work in the mines for the rest of your life to pay that fine. If you’re lucky, the nobles you have defamed will simply dispatch guards to kill you cleanly and destroy all the manuscripts you own.”

Adrian had stopped sweating. He simply sat there as if his soul had flown away in a hurry.

“Therefore, you are lucky that I was the one to act first. Although I would have preferred being able to seize the novel before it was published, your publisher is so sleazy and insignificant that I did not think to monitor her, thinking that nothing she could do could injure my family’s reputation. An oversight on my part.”

Adrian managed to swallow. “May I ask what you intend to do, milady?”

“Firstly, I want information. Why did you write this story?”

“Well… I… needed to make some money. And I heard that there was good money in the otome novels currently. I’ve never written something so long, but I managed.”

“I see. Although the content itself is libelous and deplorable, the writing itself is well done. There is no flowery or ridiculous prose, the dialogue is well done, and the descriptions are not superfluous. If you were to enter the legitimate market, you would do quite well.”

“Truly?” Adrian was unexpectedly flustered. “Thank you, milady. I’m glad to hear it.”

“However, the fact of the matter is that you did not enter the legitimate market. Which leads to my next question: where did you get the idea for the story itself, regarding the characters and the secret relationship?”

Adrian squirmed. “Someone told me that the Archduke’s son was having a fling with a classmate who was there on a scholarship. I asked him about the people involved, and wrote the story after that.”

“Someone. Who?” Anastasia raised a perfect eyebrow.

What to do? Adrian started sweating again. He wasn’t a reporter, so he couldn’t claim confidentiality for a source. But to admit that he had gotten the information from a stranger at a bar… and that he had been so drunk at the time he didn’t think it odd that a student at the Academy would be old enough to drink… how pathetic was he in actuality? Adrian Knickerbocker was faced with a dilemma he could never have anticipated, and a moral morass he couldn’t get out of.

Anastasia sighed. “If you don’t know the name, at least furnish me with a description.”

“Brown hair, brown eyes, glasses.”

At Adrian’s quick reply, Anastasia nodded. “That narrows the school population by roughly half. Did they specifically say ‘classmate’ or ‘schoolmate’?”

“Classmate.”

“Three likely suspects then. Male or female?”

“Male.”

“Two then.” Anastasia took a long drink of her tea, and placed the cup on the table again. “Thank you. That has been quite helpful.”

“Umm, you’re welcome, milady. Umm…”

“I apologize for the rough treatment. My guards are used to people who are ready to fight, so they reacted accordingly. I shall have them return you to your lodgings shortly, with the knowledge that should you attempt something like this, you will be punished accordingly.”

“Milady, could you instead… possibly… help me leave town? I’m sorry! I know that this is shameless of me to ask, but I needed money to return home to Dalmuth, to see my family. I have enough money set back to pay for a train ticket, but if I stay in town any longer, I’m afraid of what might happen to me.”

“I see. While it is somewhat shameless, I acknowledge your efforts to learn from your current situation. Hans, take Mr. Knickerbocker to his lodgings and then escort him safely to the train. Make sure he arrives in Dalmuth safely. That should give you enough time to spread the word that he is under my protection.”

Adrian felt like crying. “Thank you, milady, from the bottom of my heart. I cannot repay you for this.”

Anastasia nodded, her face still serene. “In the future, if you write another book, please give the person like me a happy ending. It’s unsettling to read of me as the villainess who is exiled into poverty.”

“I will, milady. I promise!” Adrian, who had been freed from his ropes, was escorted out of the room.

Anastasia leaned back against the cushions and sighed, massaging her temples. A female guard stepped forward from the corner of the room and bowed.

“Shall I fetch anything for you, milady?”

“No, Genevieve.” Anastasia pulled a pair of eyeglasses from inside her sleeve and put them on. “I simply needed my glasses. I didn’t want to intimidate the man so much that he couldn’t give any useful information.”

With her glasses, Anastasia still looked a perfect lady, but with an aura of coldness she hadn’t had before. A frightened Adrian would have been scared even more, had he faced this version of her.

Genevieve nodded. “Understood. Shall I send Luther to spread the word?”

“Better to send Klaus. Luther looks too genial.”

Genevieve bowed, and left. This left Anastasia alone in the room. She laid her head against the back of the divan and closed her eyes for a few moments. When Genevieve came back, Anastasia wrote out two notes and rang for the maid to deliver them.

To be continued…

The LEGO town of Nevermore

Hey all. Life is busy, as always. Been making another set for a mystery roleplaying game. I present to you: Nevermore! This old western town is slowly under construction, with a fort being built. The local Cherokee tribe is friendly with the town’s citizens, and everything was peaceful.

Until someone tried to break into the bank.

And someone shot the sheriff.

The sheriff’s office and the general store.

This was cobbled together from lots of old LEGO sets from my childhood. A cool website called https://adventurebricks.com/ has a ton of cool stuff that I used for little details, like a broom, lanterns, bottles, etc.

The writing muse has fled from me for now, so I’m trying to stay creative in some way. I know that doesn’t make up for a lack of writing on my part, but it’s the only excuse I have to my sense of perfectionism. Anyhow, catch y’all on the flip side.

A Christmas Idea

Hey guys. I know it’s only November, but I’m putting in a plug for one of my favorite ministries: WorldCrafts. They work with artisans in different countries to help them sell products and make an income for themselves and their families. Like, these are people escaping poverty, slavery, sex trafficking, abuse; people with disabilities or who are outcasts in their culture. You are helping make a difference in their lives with this.

There is an abundance of beautiful items, from jewelry, home decor, Christmas decorations, stationery… Perfect for people who love shopping for Christmas presents and finding great gifts. Please consider this or other ways to help people during the Christmas season. (Please note, I’m not trying to pressure or guilt-trip you with this; just trying to help get the word out there.)

https://www.worldcrafts.org/shop-with-worldcrafts

I have bought items from here for several years, some for myself and some for gifts. The Jubilee earrings and Jordanian earrings always get comments and compliments when I wear them. The Hope-full Mug is a wonderful addition to the kitchen cabinets. The Yatta Purse served me faithfully for quite some time, and is merely one of many purses and wallets available.

And you know one of the most amazing things, in my mind? The internet has made it possible to support ministries and organizations that help support people in bad situations. The internet has a lot of bad stuff, but we can also use it for good. I think that’s amazing.

I hope to get a chapter of some story uploaded within the next couple weeks, but I thought I would take a chance to plug a good ministry. Catch you on the flip side.